Burger King: Free St. Patrick's Day fries Mar. 17-18.

Sometimes the freebie tie-ins make more sense than others. I'm not exactly sure what the connection between free french fries and St. Patrick's Day is... potatoes, maybe? Not that it really matters! What's important is that you go to Burger King on March 17-18 and claim your free fries, complete with GREEN KETCHUP. Excuse me, "St. Paddy's Day sauce."

If you also swing by McDonald's for a shamrock shake, you'll have quite the festive snack.

Free Burger King onion rings Feb. 4-5.

A while back, Burger King was offering free french fries to spread the word about their newer, healthier (less unhealthy?) fries. I'm not sure if this onion rings freebie is along the same lines, but you can get your free "value-sized" onion rings in participating Burger Kings this weekend, Feb. 4-5.

It doesn't look like a coupon or purchase is necessary; the only restriction is that you can't get them during breakfast hours. Not that you'd want onion rings for breakfast anyway... would you?

Dec. 16: Free "value" size fries at Burger King.

I've always thought Burger King had one of the better french-fry recipes in the fast food business... but starting in 2012, they're changing their recipe to be more "natural," whatever that means. However, on Dec. 16, they're giving away free "value" (aka $1 size) french fries, so you can try it for yourself and judge!

"The trend in french fries is toward more 'natural' offerings. That includes fries that are or appear to be made from fresh-cut potatoes and topped with 'artisan' toppings like sea salt."

I guess you just have to be there.

Burger King: Free Seattle's Best Coffee every Friday in November.

One more reason to be thankful for Fridays: Burger King is offering a free 12-oz cup of Seattle's Best Coffee every Friday in November. The free coffee is for breakfast hours only, but it doesn't look like any minimum purchase is required, so you can stumble in on your way to work and claim your free coffee.

$1 card from Burger King with free passive-aggression.

Kinda sorta feeling a pang of guilt over excluding that acquaintance/Facebook friend/coworker you smile at but don't really like from your holiday gift list? Burger King will help you make the empty gesture that means so much this season. For $1, you can send your recipient a paper holiday card with a $1 bill inside. (The bill is intended for them to purchase a cheeseburger or something that's $1 at BK - advertising alert!)

I kind of like "Thinking of you a little bit this holiday season," but there's something satisfying about "Because I care deeply about someone who looks kinda like you," too. Nothing welcomes the holidays like a passive-aggressive slap in the face and a crisp dollar bill!