Raphael is your new European lover, and he wants to enchant and seduce your senses as they did in the ancient days of Rome... with tuna salad. What, you don't think that's hot? Read on:
I, Raphael, represent a royal line of ambassadors from Portugal. We share the diplomacy of love and we carry the message for The Queen of the Coast gourmet seafood products to the world. I desire to share my affection for the tuna with all women. I cannot keep this a secret. Certainly, I suggest these tuna delicacies for their taste, but you must not forget they are also high in protein, low in fat, and contain almost NO mercury. Safe for even beautiful pregnant ladies. Indulge yourself in the glory of tuna. I offer you 2 free samples. I only wish I could deliver it to you personally, with my love.
Get a free can of tuna AND a free can of tuna salad to boot. This offer is good through May 15, so don't delay - Raphael is a man, after all, and he has his pride. He won't wait forever for you.