Free Hallmark card - they send it, they stamp it!

OK, just one more post before I head out the door. This is a pretty nifty little promotion by Hallmark - now you can create, customize, address, and send paper cards through their website. You choose from a set of templates, but you can delete out the schlocky sentiments they write in and create your own personal message. Best of all, the first one's free - even the stamp!

You do have to register with Hallmark.com (I was already registered for e-card purposes). Use promo code TRIAL at checkout and your 5x7 folded card will magically become FREE! I just sent an awesome Easter card and I don't care who knows it.

SPRING BREAK!!!

The HTN will be going on vacation, so you'll have to somehow struggle on without daily tips on free food, samples, beauty products, and more. I know it will be tough, but in the meantime you can console yourself by checking out Hey It's Free and Wise Bread, two excellent deal sites. Plus, there's the ever-popular Consumerist, where you can giggle gleefully as your fellow consumers stick it to The Man - and win!

Jeez, did I just talk myself out of a job? Happy spring break/Easter, everybody!

Free Aveda samples, and free $25 product on your b-day!

Aveda is for fancy hair, and now Aveda is for birthdays too. Get a free sample of Color Conserve Strengthening Treatment by going into any Aveda store and mentioning the Shape sample offer.

Then, sign up for the birthday club and get a free product valued at up to $25 on your next birthday! And "custom blended with the aroma of your choice," no less. Now that's fancy.

Free Cheeses of Wisconsin poster.

Do you know the 33 most popular cheese varieties from Wisconsin? Well, DO YOU? Of course you don't, and that's why you need this handy-dandy guide, which looks like it could either be a poster or (ideally) a laminated placard suitable for hanging on the wall.

"Contains cheese descriptions, cheese storage guidelines, buying tips, handling and cooking guidelines and tips on serving a Wisconsin Cheese Course."

I hope curds are on there somewhere...

Free Axe body spray sample.

Smelly men, trick women into being attracted to you anyway with a little help from Axe body spray. Sign up for a free sample and get ready to be trampled by desperate, bikini-clad models. Just like real life.

Free ring sizer.

Most of the time, the freebie offers I come across aren't things I was thinking about beforehand, but am happy to have for free. This particular offer, though, comes right on the heels of me telling someone how much I could use a ring sizer for my fat little fingers, as they appear to be changing sizes lately, hindering my online-shopping experience.

Unfortunately, the form won't process unless you agree to subscribe to the newsletter, but just give 'em a junk address and you're done. Never go in ignorance of your ring size again!

Free magically compressed tiny T-shirt.

When I was a kid, I was totally fascinated by these super-compressed dishtowels and t-shirts and whatnot that were super-scrunched down into impossibly tiny sizes, then shrink-wrapped into amusing novelty shapes.

Now you can get your own for free by going here and requesting one! I have no idea what CubeBix is, but you can always use another car-washing or laundry-day shirt, right? Plus, you get the novelty value of watching the tiny t-shirt slowly grow to an adult-sized garment. Cheap thrills!

Free Aveeno 'poo and conditioner samples.

I usually stick with boring old Head & Shoulders myself, but if you're looking for something different and girly, click here for a free sample of Aveeno 'poo and conditioner. It will nourish your damaged hair back to life in three washes, apparently.

BOGO Toasty Torpedo at Quiznos.

At last, the super-phallic sandwich you've been craving... and why settle for one when you could have two? Play the Toast and Destroy game and get a BOGO coupon whether you win or lose. You can also watch that creepy, sexually suggestive ad of theirs and look for the phallic periscope! Yaaaay!

Sometimes a sandwich is just a sandwich... but this is not one of those times.

Free buttons 3/31 to celebrate Seattle Metro's 3-billionth rider.

Seattle Metro expects to serve its 3-billionth rider by this Tuesday night, so to celebrate, they're giving away 20,000 commemorative buttons at locations around Seattle.

"From 6:30 to 8:30 a.m. Tuesday, staff will distribute the buttons from all transit tunnel stations; Third and Union in downtown Seattle; the West Seattle Junction (California/Alaska); the Burien Transit Center, 14900 4th Ave. S.W.; the Bellevue Transit Center, 10850 N.E .6th St.; and the Northgate Transit Center, 10200 1st Ave. N.E."

It just so happens that I swing through two of those stops on my morning commute, so I should be able to grab one with minimal effort. It occurs to me that this could be one of those "free frenzy" situations where the fact that you're getting SOMETHING for free outweighs the fact that the free item is, objectively, crap, but... it's a FREE BUTTON! Look, something shiny!

Free movie rental code at Redbox, today only.

I just learned about Redbox recently, and I'm eager to try out this new code and get a free movie rental every Monday. It's one of those DVD-rental automats that you see in grocery store lobbies (apparently Redbox is often found in McDonalds, too). And every Monday, there's a promo code for a free one-night rental! This week's code is 89ZQJ3. The movie is due back at the box by 9 pm the next day, but late fees are just $1 a day, so it's still cheaper than Blockbuster if you decide to keep it a little longer.

Find a location near you (downtown Seattleites, there's one at the IGA Kress at 3rd and Pike)and get renting - free!

$1 coffee Mondays at Caribou Coffee.

Mondays are hard, and Mondays require an extra boost of artificial energy to drag yourself through them until 5:00, when you can head back to the welcoming embrace of your ass-print on the couch. So head over to Caribou Coffee and get $1 medium coffees every Monday.

(There don't seem to be any locations in the Seattle area, but if you know of one, leave it in the comments! Not that we don't have plenty of other coffee options here.)

Free sample of Jergens Natural Glow moisturizer.

Feeling a little apprehensive about the looming threat of swimsuit and bare-legged weather? Give your lily-white, vitamin-D-starved limbs the appearance of healthy vitality with a free sample of Jergens Natural Glow moisturizer, available in two shades for the pale and even paler.

I can't promise it'll work, or that people won't give you suspicious looks if you live somewhere sunless like Seattle, but it might give you a glimpse of a sunnier, more summery future to hold on to while winter grinds on.

Free Emergen-C Blue and stickers!

I totally wasn't kidding about Emergen-C constantly offering free samples of their hippie healing drug packets. The latest addition to the pack is Emergen-C Blue, and you can get a free sample and some stickers by going here.

In case you're wondering, the "blue" part refers not only to the mixed-berry flavor and the color of the drink, but also the Oceans Of Our Planet. "A percentage of Emergen-C BLUE’s profits support the Surfrider Foundation® – dedicated to cleaning up the world's oceans, waterways, and drinking water for 20 years. " So you can feel morally smug about your free sampling!

Free Maggie Moo's ice cream on April 15.

Man, April 15 is going to be a bonanza of free stuff! Not only can you get yourself a free taco at Taco Del Mar, but you can head over to Maggie Moo's for dessert and get a free ice cream cone on April 15.

If you've done your taxes early, consider it a special pat on the back. And if you're waiting until the bitter end to give The Man your money, maybe some free junk food will sweeten the sting.

Free Quakers True Delight bar.

If you're not up-to-the-moment on your pseudo-healthy granola-candy bars, Quakers True Delights bars are the latest attempt to make granola bars feel "indulgent" and "decadent" and so forth. I'll admit the flavors sound pretty good, like Honey Roasted Cashew Mixed Berry, and - shh - I've actually purchased a box of the Toasted Coconut Banana Macadamia Nut to take on an upcoming trip. You know, for "energy." So I'll let you know if they're any good.

Anyway, click the link at the bottom of the page (you don't have to play the game thing) and get a free sample, and probably coupons too. Based on the nutritional-info research I did, they're not super-great as far as the health-to-sugary-calories ratio, but they're still marginally better than crunching into a Butterfinger.

Free coffee for old and young at Seattle's Best.

Seattle's Best Coffee is celebrating its 39th anniversary with a complicated promotion full of dates that you have to remember. Some highlights:

• BOGO medium or large mocha latte through April 28 - also good in Borders' cafes (print the coupon)
• April 6 - Enjoy a complimentary small coffee
• April 7–28 - All 39-year-olds receive a free medium cup of coffee
• April 10–12 - Buy a pastry; get a free medium cup of Anniversary Roast coffee
• April 17-19 - Get a $.39 (plus tax) medium cup of Anniversary Roast coffee

I'll try to remind you as we get closer to these days, but, you know, that's a lot of numbers to remember.

Free Jiffy Mix recipe book.

You know Jiffy baking mixes, right? Those little pint-size white-and-blue boxes that sidle up shyly next to the Betty Crocker and Pillsbury cake-mix boxes that cost three times as much? I like Jiffy mixes because they cost about $0.50 each, and the smaller box makes a more reasonably sized batch for one or two people (6-8 muffins, rather than, you know, two dozen).

Anyway, you can send away for a free recipe book chock-full of new ideas for the world's cheapest muffin mixes. Jelly rolls, sausage wraps, broccoli cornbread, Hawaiian cream cake, chili cheese bread... the list goes on and on.

You can get them for free online too, but I'm guessing the physical book has some cute old-timey graphics and retro fonts that make baking more fun. Plus, it has camping recipes, the hobo chef's friend.

Feed your inner survivalist crank, free.

Worried about that imminent global-warming/nuclear apocalypse? Worry no more with Daily Bread's long-lasting food, perfect for stocking your underground backyard shelter! I don't know about you, but the words "25-year shelf life" make my mouth water.

This website rules. First it riles you up with a news feed of global disasters and scary words like "terrorism" and "unpredictable events," then it hints ominously about the exponentially rising costs of feeding YOUR AMERICAN FAMILY an all-freedom diet, then it casually slips in a mention about how fun, easy, and affordable its freeze-dried canisters of food powder are. When you run out of space in your survivalist cave, you can store your extras under your bed!

OK, I'm sold. Send me one, Daily Bread. Maybe I can finally unload those 50-gallon drums of applesauce in the basement.

Eucerin 2: free sample boogaloo.

More Eucerin lotion samples! Man, they're just giving this stuff away by the truckload. This time it's Smoothing Essentials, which claims to be a lightweight lotion that lasts 24 hours. Having spent 20 minutes in the lotion aisle of Target last night sniffing suspiciously at dozens of bottles (due to a coworker's princess-and-the-pea sensitive nose, which permits NO fragrances in the office), I am skeptical of this claim, but free samples is free samples. Enjoy.

Free Pantene 'poo.

Click here to register for a free sample of Pantene Pro-V's advanced Nature Fusion collection, featuring a shampoo "with naturally derived Cassia essence to meet the demands of the season's jet-setting lifestyle."

I don't know about you, but my hair's jet-setting lifestyle demands PURE CASSIA ESSENCE and nothing else. Sometimes it wants a giant punch bowl full of it in its dressing room, with a bag of green M&Ms on the side.

Free soft pretzels on April 26!

This is SO EXCITING that I thought I'd post it a full month early so you could have more time to eagerly anticipate it. Like Xmas, but with soft pretzels: it's National Pretzel Day! (They even provide a handy countdown clock to help you figure out how long till free pretzels.)

On April 26, aka National Pretzel Day, you can hit up your favorite Pretzel Time or Pretzel Maker for a FREE SOFT PRETZEL. No word on whether it's a coupon or you just walk up and get one or what, but I bet details will be revealed on the website.

You can also play a weird Guitar Hero knockoff game called "Pretzelmaker Rocks" for your chance at fabulous prizes, such as a Wii, a large flat-screen television, or a $10 gift certificate for MOAR PRETZELS!

"Pretzel" is hard to type, but fun to say. Pretzel pretzel pretzel.

Odd sausage toilet fire.

Not a money-saving post per se, but I'm including this because it displays the kind of DIY resourcefulness we expect from our fellow hoboes (and right here in Washington state!). I'm pasting the link so you can see the awesome URL.

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/6420ap_wa_odd_sausage_toilet_fire.html

"An inmate hankering for hot sausage got in hot water when the cooking fire he set in his toilet forced the evacuation of a prison wing... The smoke was traced to the inmate's cell, and he admitted trying to heat up snack sausage bought from an inmate store in the stainless steel toilet, Larson says. The toilet chef was placed in segregation pending discipline, while the other prisoners were returned to their cells by midnight."

Free sample of Aveda men's shampoo.

Get your hair manly-clean with Aveda's man shampoo (manpoo?). Click the Request an Aveda Men Sample button on the bottom right, and you'll get a coupon that you must then take to a "participating Aveda Salon/Spa."

Sounds a bit complicated, yes, but I hear that Aveda products are good, so maybe it's worth the rigmarole. Seattleites, there are tons of participating locations here, including an Aveda store in Pacific Place, so at least it won't take you too far out of your way to use the coupon.

Free samples at Walmart. Blech.

If you're so inclined, you can obtain free samples from Walmart by going to this page and checking out what's new. Right now, for example, they have free samples of Cottonelle toilet paper (?), Kotex pads, Zyrtec allergy medicine, Crest Whitestrips, and Old Spice body wash, and I'm assuming they update this site regularly.

Of course it's all meant to get you into the store, but there's no reason you can't stick it to them by taking their free samples and never giving them any of your money. That's what I'd recommend, anyway.

Free sample of Zyrtec allergy medicine.

Hey, sniffles, you suffering from seasonal allergies? Get yourself a free sample of Zyrtec allergy medicine, now available over the counter. The page is a little confusing and busy, but scroll down to the picture of the woman lying in a meadow eyeing a sulky-looking cat, where it says "See What Zyrtec Can Do For You," and the link is right there. Man, just looking at that picture makes my eyes water.

I've historically been a Claritin (or generic Target equivalent) girl, but am open to trying new options to fight my pernicious seasonal allergies and hay fever misery.

Free movie passes to "Adventureland."

Another free screening deal, this time for "Adventureland," the follow-up from the director of "Superbad" which sounds very much like "Superbad 2: This Time It's the 1980s."

Lots of cities are on the list, so check for a screening near you! (Sorry, Seattleites, our screening is full.)

Free movie passes to "Grey Gardens."

Readers from Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco, and Washington, DC, you're in luck: Entertainment Weekly is sponsoring a free screening of the HBO movie "Grey Gardens," starring Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange.

I've always been kind of curious to see the original documentary after "Gilmore Girls" made such a fuss about it, and since Seattle isn't one of the chosen few, I guess that'll be the closest I can get to a free screening. Sniff.

Seattleites: Lakewood rummage sale is this weekend!

You guys know about the legendary mythical beast that is the Lakewood rummage sale, right? A two-day, multi-level community sale of such epic proportions that they have shuttle buses running all day to siphon off the traffic? An extravaganza of vintage and designer apparel, antiques, jewelry, home stuff, art, books, electronics, sporting goods and MORE? A sale so big it used to be housed in an airplane hangar... until they outgrew it?!

I've never dared to go, but I think this might be the year. Print out the flyer here, which gives directions, hours, and shuttle lot locations. The sale runs 9-4 on Sat. and 9-12 on Sun., so there is no excuse for not getting yourself up there to score some awesome deals! Or just marvel at the sheer insanity.

Free sample of Eucerin hand cream.

Still plagued with dry skin even after those free Victoria's Secret and Origins samples? Well, soften up with a sample of Eucerin Calming Creme, which "soothes and moisturizes to help prevent the very dry skin that can lead to itching." It's fragrance-free, non-comedogenic, non-irritating (won't clog pores) and safe for kids as young as two, so it should help your cracked, reddened farmer's hands.

Register with Eucerin and they'll send you your sample, plus maybe other free stuff in the future.

If you've ever said the words "It's still perfectly good."

Is it OK to eat pizza that sat out overnight on your coffee table when you stumbled drunkenly to bed? Is it safer to rinse raw chicken before cooking it? How long is imitation crab meat good for? If you've ever had an argument about whether something is "perfectly safe" or not, then StillTasty.com is for you.

Browse by category or type in a search term to find out how long it's safe to store an item, fridge vs. freezer life, and storage tips to get longer life out of your food. Also, answers to burning food-safety questions like the ones above (the answers are no, no, and two weeks, by the way). I'm thinking I should probably toss my salad dressing that expired in 2007, though.

Free Red Dress pin.

Show your support for the fight against heart disease and get some free jewelry at the same time! Sign up here to get a free Red Dress pin in the mail. Evidently, heart disease is the NUMBER ONE KILLER of women in the U.S., so this is serious business.

Not quite as obnoxious as the omnipresent pink ribbons, so I'm permitting it to be on the HTN.

Free museum passes from B of A.

I first found out about this when I got burned by it on vacation - I went to a museum in L.A. that happened to be participating, and I hadn't brought my BofA card with me. Boo! I won't be caught unawares again, though.

This is a pretty awesome deal if you're an existing BofA customer, meaning you have a BofA check, ATM, or credit card. (The guy at the museum said "anything with a BofA logo on it will work.") On the first weekend of every month, take your card to participating museums in your area for free admission. That's it! You can also sign up for email or text-message reminders if you're the forgetful type.

In Seattle, that includes MOHAI, the Wing Luke Asian Museum, and the Tacoma Art Museum. More than 70 museums are included so far in the program, so check it out!

Free gifts every month from AE Aerie. March = beach bag!

OK, I'm definitely not an American Eagle Aerie shopper, but I just read about this deal: you join their e-club and you get a free no-strings-attached gift every month, plus another gift on your birthday and the ever-present "special discounts and sales." To sign up, you print the 20% off coupon and take it in, although no purchase is required to get your gift.

Sounds like you get a punch card when you sign up, and you present it each month to get your free gift, so there's a little keeping track involved, but nothing a quick Outlook reminder won't solve. And the March gift is a sunny yellow tote that's actually pretty cute, so I think I'm going to try this one tomorrow. Stay tuned!

Free chicken tacos at Del Taco.

Olé! My week of Mexican freebies continues with two free chicken tacos from Del Taco. Sign up for their e-club and get a coupon for tacos now, plus a free milkshake on your birthday and other mysterious goodies.

Sadly, there is no Del Taco location in Seattle - the closest one is 33 miles away in Federal Way. It's a shame, because I secretly love their ingenious combination menu. We shouldn't have to choose between tacos and French fries, and Del Taco doesn't make you.

Free Quiznos sandwich, pt. 2.

You remember the LAST free sandwich fiasco at Quiznos, right? Well, this offer seems to be a little less frenzied. Join their email club and get a coupon for a free sammie with purchase of a side order and drink. Looks like the coupon is good for 2 weeks from date of issue.

Note: If you specify your "home store," they'll also send you a coupon for a free cookie, but then the coupon is ONLY good at that location, so avoid that option if you want to be able to use your coupon wherever you please.

Free Victoria's Secret lotion, April 1-12.

I don't buy it very much, but I'm a fan of Victoria's Secret body products, especially their super-rich hand cream. Starting April 1, you can print this email and take it to a Victoria's Secret store to get your free mini body lotion from their new line, Naturally Victoria's Secret.

Although they do have stores that are just bath and body stuff, it looks like you can take this to any store to cash it in. In my experience, though, they never send enough samples to the individual stores and they don't tell them when additional shipments will be coming (if ever), so if you intend to use this, get down there on April 1 and put your cracked, dry hand out.

HTN Facebook group! Join now!

Were you aware that the Hard Times Newsletter has a Facebook group? No? Well, you should join now! Members get an exciting and super-official title, plus you can post on the discussion board or hurl abuse at your fellow thrifty souls!

Join, join, JOIN!

Join Google Usability, make $100s!

This is more of an earning opportunity than a free offer, although you could look at it as free money. I signed up for the Google Usability team (referral code: KR3), and after about a month, they contacted me with an offer. First, there was a 15-minute phone survey to talk about my Internet habits and what I do online; from there, I qualified for the 90-minute in-person usability study.

Basically, you're helping them develop new applications by performing tasks while narrating your thought processes and answering questions. Sometimes, however, they just want remote testing or online surveys. I thought it was pretty fun, and you don't need any technical expertise - they need people from all walks of life to do testing. Plus, from the moment you get in there, they shower you with free drinks, pens, T-shirts (okay, the T-shirts are pretty ugly) and $100 checks. What could be better?

The only downside is you need to be near a Google office to do the in-person testing, and they do it during business hours, so you might have to rearrange your schedule. But when else is your time going to be worth $65/hour? Unless you answer that phone-sex ad, I guess.

Free Diet Dr. Pepper.

Who wants a free diet Dr. Pepper? Yeah, me neither, but go here for your free coupon anyway. Choose between a 20-oz bottle or a 2-liter bottle... then wait 4-6 weeks while they mail it to you. Mmm, refreshing.

Free breakfast at Mimi's Cafe.

Mimi's Cafe is a favorite with the Nevada contingent of my diner-breakfast-loving family (though nothing, of course, compares to the mighty IHOP), and now you can savor a free grease breakfast when you sign up for their email notifications. I actually kind of like their pseudo-Cajun-N'awlins corporate flavor, or maybe I'm just bored of looking at the same old sticky laminated IHOP menu.

(Sorry, Seattleites, there are no locations in Washington.)

More free Emergen-C.

Remember how I said yesterday that Emergen-C is always giving away free samples? Well, here's another one - register and get a free sample of their tasty, fizzy, vitamin-C-enhanced drink mix, which has now officially joined the 21st-century canon of anecdotal "cures" for the common cold.

I wonder if it would have twice the healing powers if you mixed it up with their energized health water?

El BOGO Loco.

I seem to be having a Mexican-fast-food-chain-themed week here - maybe it's because I have Cancun on the brain. Well, be that as it may, head over to El Pollo Loco for your BOGO chicken tortilla roll with this coupon. I do not know what this product is, but it looks like a chicken-and- cheese-filled churro, which, you know, might not be a bad thing.

Free bran lemonade sample. Yum!

Another entry in the "products whose existence I don't fully understand" category... Kellogg's has evidently created an All-Bran pink lemonade drink mix, so you can get your daily fiber requirement in delicious powder form.

Get a free sample here, but know that the offer is sponsored by Walmart, which makes me even more suspicious.

Borders bargains on DVDs? Keep your eyes peeled!

According to this post on Consumerist, Borders wants to GTFO of the DVD/CD business because it's not making them much money. They're already marking inventory 30% off, and the discounts will increase in the coming weeks to 50%, 75%, and perhaps even a $1?!1?!

Of course, the longer you wait, the cruddier the selection will be, and even at $1, some things still aren't a bargain. "Super Troopers," I'm looking at you.

Just another BOGO sundae.

Like BOGO ice cream? Sure you do? Go to Baskin Robbins before March 28 and take this coupon with you for a buy-one-get-one sundae deal. I'm not a regular patron, but it looks like they are fudgetastically candylicious, possibly even whiptacular. Enjoy.

Trade your empty bottle for a free Origins sample.

Yes, that's right - starting March 29, bring in your empty cosmetics tubes, bottles, and jars to any Origins counter (except those in Nordstrom, where they don't want your trash) and get a free sample of Origins products.

Also, if you happen to be near these lucky locations on April 2, you can get a free full-size thing of A Perfect World™ Intensely hydrating body cream with White Tea, just by bringing in your crappy old empty bottles. But, you know, be nice and rinse them out first, so the poor recycling-facility employees don't have to smell your rancid beauty products until they barf.

Free crapload of Emergen-C energy water.

Emergen-C often has some pretty great free-sample deals on their website, but this new offer is for HEALTH AND ENERGY WATER 1000!!!! Register online and they'll apparently send you four 12-packs of their magic healing water, plus a t-shirt and some other freebies.

No word on whether they expect you to go out to the closest intersection and dance for traffic while handing out said sample bottles, but if it keeps me from catching colds, maybe I will. MAYBE I WILL.

$1 hobo guilt cone at Ben & Jerry's, March 24.

Ben & Jerry's is having an "E-cone-omic Relief Day" tomorrow, March 24. Meaning, you bring in $1 and a botulized can of garbanzo beans from the back of your cupboard, and you get to walk out with a nice, creamy coneful of saturated fats.

It's unclear whether all stores are participating or just the ones that feel like it, so as always, call first and check, as Seattleites generally get screwed on these offers by our fun-hating local Ben & Jerry franchisees.

Free Pegetables.

I'm not really sure what Pegetables are, but you and your hippie organic dog/cat can get a free sample here if you are so inclined.

I have a feeling your pet would be more interested in Vitameatavegamin, but if they want meat, tell 'em to go get a job and start bringing home some bacon.

$1 makeup.

Well, it's not exactly free, but pretty darn close. Bargain makeup line E.L.F. (Eyes, Lips, Face) has tons of makeup for $1 each. Choose from lip glosses and balms, eyeshadows and eyeliners, blushers and bronzers and all-over color... all from $1! (They also have pricier mineral makeup, bath and body stuff, and bigger kits.)

Shipping is an ouchy $6.95, but promo code CAROLINA saves you an additional 50% if your order is over $15. Oh, and you get a subscription to Teen Vogue with your $15 order, if you care. Go in on an order with your friends and save!

Free stuff on your birthday.

Birthdays have always been about getting free stuff, but now you don't have to wait for friends or family to do it for you. Read this guide about scoring freebies on your birthday, like Victoria's Secret gift cards, ice cream, pizza, dinners, and sub sandwiches.

Check out this guide for freebies like coupons to DSW, burritos, lots of ice cream, more pizza and sandwiches, and kids' freebies too.

Know of another good birthday freebie or club? Leave it in the comments!

Free April 15 taco = Tax-Mex?

Taxes are sad and hard, but tacos are crunchy and awesome. Let one make up for the other with Free Tax Day Tacos at Taco del Mar! Fill out the form and they'll email you a coupon for a free taco; take it to a store on April 15 and demand your free grease boat.

(Yes, this is pretty far advance notice, but I saw it on the bus commute this morning and didn't want to forget. Reminders will be forthcoming closer to 4/15.)

$1.04 entree at Ivar's Flounder Day.

Any Seattleite knows about Ivar's, the fish-and-chips-and-seafood chain that has, apparently, been around for 104 years. I know this because they're celebrating on Monday, March 23, with a $1.04 entree special - buy one at full price, get the second for $1.04.

That's kind of like BOGO, except you're giving THEM an extra buck to celebrate their anniversary, but it's good at all Ivar's locations, so if you wanna get your fish and chips on, Monday's the day to do it.

(Thanks to Tiffany S. for the tip!)

Free Bellevue Arts Museum passes.

The King County Library System is offering free passes to the Bellevue Arts Museum. Admission is normally $9 for adults, so that's a pretty sweet deal. Click here and go to the events listing page to register, and they'll email you a confirmation code that's good for seven days. The free pass admits two. Here's what's currently being shown at the BAM.

(Thanks to Sarah H. for the tip!)

Free IKEA breakfast.

From Friday, March 20, to Sunday, March 22, print this coupon and take it to your local IKEA for a free small breakfast (which appears to include bacon, eggs, and potatoes) and coffee. Check the store location page for hours - in Seattle, it's valid from 9 to 10 am.

Of course, that breakfast is only 99 cents without the coupon, so is it worth standing in line for an hour with all the other hobos and freeloaders? Then again, what is IKEA about, if not standing in line for hours?

Free Bare Escentuals foundation and brush.

Hey, this one's actually a pretty good deal! Click here to get a free 10-day sample of Bare Escentuals mineral foundation and a Buki Brush. I'm too lazy to do much makeup myself, but those brushes can be pretty pricey, so I'd be all over it just for that.

$3.95 shipping, or there's a link to find locations where you can pick-up in person for free.

Free Dove samples. Shampoo, not chocolate.

Looking to healthify your fried, brittle, heap-of-straw damaged hair? Dove Hair Care is here to help with free samples of its Heat Defense or Intense Damage Therapy products.

I enjoy frying my hair, and sometimes my unwary fingers, with a straightening iron first thing in the morning, so I guess I'd be going for the Heat Defense stuff. It apparently even has a "repairing serum" in it, whatever that means.

Free Airborne sample.

Hey sicko, did you happen to catch that nasty end-of-winter cold/flu/ebola that's going around? Fight it off with a sample of Airborne in zesty orange flavor.

I wouldn't say I have a ton of confidence in Airborne's ability to destroy a virus, but since I'll be leavin' on a jet plane soon, this sample should arrive just in time for me to breathe cold-blocking orange fumes into my fellow travelers' faces.

Free Sephora samples on March 21.

On March 21, get 8 free beauty product samples at Sephora stores during their Naturally Gorgeous event. Print this coupon and take it with you between 12-6 pm, or use code NATURALBAG with any online order.

Apparently you can get free in-store makeovers too, but I'd rather just grab my free stuff and go.

Free choose-your-own-content magazine.

OK, maybe it's just a new advertising gimmick, but I'll bite: TIME Inc. is developing a new, customized magazine where you choose the content. The magazine is called "Mine," and they're launching an experimental free subscription here.

Select up to five magazines from eight TIME subsidiaries: Time, Sports Illustrated, Food & Wine, Real Simple, Money, In Style, Golf, and Travel + Leisure. Editors pre-select the content that will go in, and voila! You can choose print or digital format for your reading pleasure.

The first issue arrives in early April, so I'll let you know how it is when it gets here. Can you guess which five magazines I picked?

Free planners for the jobless. Burn them for warmth.

Recently laid off? Franklin Covey wants to help you plan your next career move. Stop in to a participating store on March 21 and get a free planner by looking pitiful and telling them which big bad company laid you off.

Of course, if you're unemployed, you may not have much to write in that shiny new planner, but maybe it'll help you feel better, like when old people force themselves to leave the house once a day.

9 am: Sleep
12 pm: Think about getting up, decide there's no point
1 pm: Get free AM/PM cheeseburger for lunch, read Craigslist job listings
2 pm - 3 am: Play video games, drink beer

Free AM/PM gas station cheeseburger, 3/18 from 11am-1pm.

Assuming you're willing to eat gas station convenience store "food," you can cash in on AM/PM's special offer today, March 18: try a free cheeseburger from 11 am to 1 pm at participating stores.

Well, actually, the website says "free cheeseburger sample," so hopefully that doesn't mean they're cutting one into little cubes and sticking toothpicks in them. Though if it's good enough for Costco shoppers, it's good enough for you, right?

Free Krispy Kreme.

Go here to get a coupon for a free Krispy Kreme glazed donut when you sign up for their mailing list. Of course, at the Krispy Kreme I used to go to, they would just hand out free glazed donuts to everybody when you stepped up to the counter, anyway... but I hear that not all KK's are as generous, so if your local store is stingy, you might still need it.

Buy one mocha or latte, get one free at Seattle's Best.

Not much happening in the world of free stuff today, but there is a coupon for a BOGO mocha or latte at Seattle's Best Coffee. If you're looking for a double dose of sugary, chocolatey caffeine, print the coupon and get ready to double-fist your mocha.

Free resume printing on March 10 at Kinko's.

This is kind of a depressing freebie, but on March 10, all FedEx Kinko's locations will print 25 copies of your resume for free.

I'm assuming this is a "first one's free, kid" method to get you hooked on their copying services as your job search drags on month after month, but 25 resumes ought to at least get you started, right?

Feel even queasier at IMAX theaters with free popcorn.

For those who like a hearty helping of nausea with their ten-story-tall movies, here's an AMC Theatres coupon for a free popcorn with the purchase of an IMAX ticket.

Normally, high-tech cinematic gimmicks like 3-D and IMAX just make me feel queasy and worn out, but I'm sure a big, greasy sack of buttered carbs will settle my stomach as I gaze raptly at "Watchmen" this weekend.