A peek inside the Burt's Bees Celebration Bag.

After a long, long, LONG wait, my 25th anniversary Burt's Bees Celebration bag arrived! If you're curious to see what's in one, here are some pics:

View of the bag

The disemboweled bag

I'm not sure what counts as what, but here's a list of the contents:

1. Lip Shimmer in Merlot
2. Lip Shimmer in Toffee
3. Super Shiny Lip Gloss in Zesty Red (!)
4. Beeswax Lip Balm
5. 2.5 oz Radiance Body Lotion
6. Natural Body Wash for Men
7. Herbal Milk Bath packet
8. Buttermilk Milk Bath packet
9. Therapeutic Bath Crystals packet
10. Travel-size Buttermilk Soap bar
11. Travel-size Poison Ivy Soap bar
12. Travel-size Peppermint Shower Soap bar
13. Travel-size Citrus Spice Exfoliating Soap bar
14. Travel-size Peppermint Foot Lotion
15. Travel-size Orange Essence Facial Cleanser
16. Travel-size Shea Butter Hand Repair Creme
17. Travel-size Hand Salve tin
18. Travel-size Thoroughly Therapeutic Honey & Orange Wax lotion
19. Travel-size jar of Radiance Day Creme
20. Mini loofah thing
21. Scented sleep mask
22. Round clear-with-red-trim wristlet
23. Foam lip balm cozy w/carabiner (I know, weird)
24. Yet another lip balm (this one from using an extra promo code)

Considering that those tinted lip glosses run for about $4-5 each, this strikes me as a pretty good deal. Yeah, I'm sure these were items they needed to clear out of their warehouse or leftover promo things, but still, it's fun and smelly! My cubicle is already starting to smell like a gift shoppe.

Free Hellman's mayo, Degree perfume, Pond's moisturizer, and Caress body wash - all in one!

This offer is blowing up the Interwebs this morning, with the result that the link doesn't appear to be working right now due to heavy traffic. But I'm posting anyway, in the hopes that it'll be calmed down and functional by the time you try.

This is a super-offer from Unilever because it includes FOUR samples in one. You can get samples of Hellman's mayonesa, Pond's moisturizer, a new perfume from Degree, and Caress body wash! Click on the orange "click here for English" button on the right-hand side, then follow the instructions to get your samples.

Wow, this page just keeps timing out again and again, so hang in there and keep trying... and for heaven's sake, make sure you remember which one goes on your BLT and which one to take into the shower.

Free iceberg from Carvel's scary fudge whale.

I don't know what a Carvel's is, and we don't have any in Washington, but evidently it's an ice cream-type chain, and they've been around for 75 years without my noticing. To celebrate, they're giving away free 8-oz Ice Bergs, which I guess is like a blended root-beer-float-shake, from 3:00 to 7:00 pm today, April 30.

Also, they appear to have a Fudge Whale as their mascot, which frankly looks more like a piece of crap wearing a captain's hat. Still, if it's going to make me a milkshake, I'll report to the poop deck.

Free TCBY for yo' mama on Mother's Day.

Feel like treating your mom to a delicious frozen treat, but don't actually want to pay any money to make this happen? Your wishes have come true, thanks to TCBY!

They're giving away a free cup or cone to all moms on Sunday, May 10 (at participating locations). Not sure how they'll verify this, but since I regularly get "ma'amed" at grocery stores these days, I could probably pass, don't you think?

Free Arby's Roastburger on your cellphone.

Arby's has developed a new state-of-the-art technology that allows them to send a free Roastburger to your cellphone through the magic of text messaging! Well, almost.

Get a free Roastburger with the purchase of a medium drink like so:

1. Text "Roastburger" to 27297 (Arby's) and they'll send you a text message for a free Roastburger with purchase of medium drink.

2. Go to your local Arby's and just show the message to the cashier.

Not quite as cool as teleporting a sandwich through your phone, but I'm sure that's coming soon.

Free Museum Day with B of A.

Trust me, it hurts me more than it hurts you to admit that B of A does anything good, but I have to concede that this Museums on Us program is pretty cool. Present your debit card, credit card, anything with a B of A logo on it this weekend at participating museums, and your admission is free!

Seattleites, here are the participating locations in Washington:

• MOHAI
• Wing Luke Asian Museum (general admission is also free every first Thursday & third Saturday of the month)
• Northwest African American Museum
• Tacoma Art Museum

Free culture this weekend, courtesy of Big Banking - what will they think of next?

Free pulled pork slider at White Castle.

FREE PULLED PORK SLIDER

FREE PULLED PORK SLIDER

FREE PULLED PORK SLIDER!!!!

That is all.

Free Bowl o' Carbs at Domino's, today from 11-2.

Been aching to try Domino's new Pasta Bread Bowls? Would you like to serve your carbs in an edible container also made of carbs? Then today will be your favorite day ever! Head over to Domino's between 11 am and 2 pm and ask for your free Pasta Bread Bowl on carry-out orders.

It doesn't look like any purchase is required, but there's some ominous fine print about "participating locations" and "limited quantities," so you should probably call ahead before you go, if you have your heart set on some artery-clogging lunch.

Free Cape Cod 100 calorie potato chips!

Feeling like a salty snack? Fill out this form for a chance to get a free sample bag of Cape Cod 100-calorie potato chips. The offer is only good for the first 500 people, so act fast!

Today is 31-cent Scoop Day at Baskin Robbins!

Just a reminder, today is Scoop Day at Baskin Robbins. Don't forget to head on over this evening for your cheaptastic cone! Or three!

Free frozen yogurt on May 2 at Red Mango.

I'm addicted to tart frozen yogurt - my favorite place is Yogurtland in L.A., but since I don't actually live there and we don't have a Pinkberry in Seattle, I have to settle for whatever knockoff tart yogurt shops I can find.

I've never been to Red Mango, but this weekend might change all that, when they offer free frozen yogurt from 12-4 on May 2. Specifically, you get a free Tangomonium flavor yogurt with one topping. Seattleites, there are locations at Pacific Place, U-Village, Alderwood, and Southcenter, so there is really no excuse not to score some free fro-yo this Saturday afternoon.

Free birthday dinner at Benihana.

When I was a kid, Benihana was my very favorite restaurant of all, and the one that I invariably chose for my birthday dinners (under Grandma Rules, I was also allowed to have whatever I wanted for breakfast = CAKE). I was mesmerized by the magic of the flying chopped meats and flashing knives, the somersaulting condiments and dancing flames. To say nothing of the delicious virgin drinks that came in a novelty mug you could take home!

Now I can recapture the childhood dream of a free birthday dinner at Benihana. Join their email list and you can, too. At the beginning of your birthday month, they'll email you a certificate for a free dinner worth up to $30 (not applicable to tax, tip, and booze). You can use it anytime that month, and it does not appear that it's a BOGO offer or anything. And you can probably even complete your set of novelty panda mugs.

Better than Girl Scout cookies?

Recently, Epinions.com (where I'm a reviewer) ran a writing contest in which people reviewed their favorite online charity sites, and then voted on which charities to donate that month's proceeds to. I wrote about Heifer International, which is still one of my favorites, but Kiva is growing on me too.

What I like about these charities is there's a "teach a man to fish" ethos that goes beyond just slopping a free meal on a tray. Heifer provides farm animals that allow recipients to keep bees, harvest wool, collect eggs, breed animals for meat, and so on. They provide training, and they require recipients to pass on a portion of their gift to neighbors and friends, so they too can become more independent.

Kiva is similar, except they're connecting guilty middle-class white people with impoverished third-world entrepreneurs to make short-term "microloans." Say a baker in the Phillippines needs $500 to buy supplies for her business. A bunch of donors get together and invidually donate small sums ($25 or so), totaling whatever the approved loan amount was. The baker is required to pay back the loan over a period of time, usually in monthly installments, and will provide updates and pictures of how her bakery is going. When the loan is paid back, you'll see your $25 back in your Kiva account, and then you can decide to withdraw it or (ideally) plow it back into another donation for another entrepreneur.

I'm mentioning these sites because we all get hit up for donations constantly, from street hoboes to grocery checkout lines to kids' school fundraisers, and while it's good to act on the impulse to give, you may as well be smart about it and donate wisely. I'm sure there are many other worthy causes out there, though, so if you know of one, leave it in the comments!

No booking fees for Orbitz, Travelocity, Expedia.

Good news for those who like to use online deal-finding services to book their travel: Orbitz, Travelocity, and Expedia have suspended their booking fees through May 31. It's not certain if or when the fees will return, but if you've been avoiding these sites in order to skirt the tacked-on fees, now is your chance!

I did score some pretty good deals on flight, hotel, etc. using Expedia for my last international vacation, so it's worth it to check their prices, especially if they'll be knocking off those fees.

April 29 is 31-cent Scoop Day at Baskin Robbins!

It's not free ice cream, but it's the next best thing... Baskin Robbins is doing their 31-cent Scoop Day tomorrow, April 29, from 5:00 pm to 10:00 pm. Stop in for a 31-cent scoop of ice cream and eat it off a firefighter's rock-hard belly for no additional charge!

That's a 2.5 oz. scoop (or 3 oz. Soft Serve cones), by the way, and you can only get 3 scoops per person, so if you want more than that, you'll have to drag a lactose-intolerant friend down there with you.

7.2MP Kodak EasyShare for $50.

Okay, it's not free, but it is a pretty great deal if you've been looking for an entry-level digital camera. The Kodak EasyShare M763 is on sale for $50 at Dell with coupon code L$15SCF57RH3CP. Shipping is a bit ouchy at $9, but still, that's a darn good price for a 7.2MP camera. I know a few people who have EasyShares and they all seem to think it's a good, easy-to-use camera.

Apparently the coupon code is valid through 1:00 pm CST on 4/30 or until 2,000 people have redeemed it, so get going!

Free scary movie mug.

If there's one thing that everyone needs more of, it's mugs. Am I right? We could all use a few more mismatched, chipped mugs decorated with names of exotic foreign destinations, cute cartoon animals, and musings on the nature of Mondays. I know I never get tired of them.

Now is your chance to get a free Tom's Friend mug just by signing up here. I don't know what this "Tom's Friend" thing is, mind you, but it has a nice high-contrast black-and-white design and an edgy "rock-n-roll" graphic*, so I'm assuming it's pretty hardcore and will get you admiring looks in the office breakroom.

*Oh, okay, apparently it's a movie. "Tom's Friend fits the classification of a horror/thriller film, although it shares very little with other productions in its genre. The film follows two men around and focuses on their relationship, and specifically how it changes when they are subjected to horrifying situations. A diverse and experimental advertising campaign is currently running in an attempt to make Tom's Friend one of the biggest independant films of 2009. This campaign includes a promotional giveaway where you can obtain a free novelty coffee mug, found on this very website!" Wowsers.

And speaking of free chicken...

Hopefully the TASTE THE FIRE promotion at El Pollo Loco will be a somewhat better deal than the disappointing KFC offer from yesterday. Still not a complete meal, but you get a flame-grilled leg and thigh, two corn tortillas, and a side of salsa. No coupon necessary, but you must ask for the deal at the counter (not at drive-thru).

The fire, it has a flavor. TASTE IT

Well, technically it IS a "piece."

If you went to a participating KFC yesterday for your free "piece" of grilled chicken, you were probably expecting a drumstick, thigh, breast, etc. - i.e., what we normally think of (and KFC refers to on its menu) as a "piece." Instead, you got this. They probably should have described it as a "sample."

Well, you get what you pay for, I guess. The interesting part is that many commenters reported that their KFC restaurants used fairly shady bait-and-switch tactics to avoid the promotion (claiming it would take 20 minutes to make a batch, insisting that a purchase was required even though the KFC website says it's not, etc.). Another example of Corporate deciding that a giveaway promotion would be awesome, then passing the buck on to the individual franchisees?

This week's Redbox Free Movie Monday code.

Drum roll, please... here it is, ladies and gents, this week's Redbox coupon code!

4CW33N

If you're new to the Redbox thing, check out this helpful how-to guide from Hey It's Free.net. Downtown Seattleites, please note that there is a handy Redbox at the IGA Kress on 3rd and Pike for your cheapskate convenience.

$1 medium coffee at Caribou Coffee.

A reminder for those of you fortunate enough to live near a Caribou Coffee store: they offer $1 medium coffees on Mondays to help the roughest day of the week go down a little smoother. No coupon needed, just show up looking cheap and tired and they'll hook you up.

BOGO $25 gift cards at Colonial Candle.

Weren't you just saying you could use a stockpile of smelly jar candles? Here is your chance! Buy one $25 gift card at Colonial Candle and get one free. This would be great if you have multiple Mother's Day gifts to buy, hint hint.

Here's what you do: go to the gift card page on their site and put 2 $25 gift cards in your basket. When you get to the checkout page, enter promo code ILLUME25 and one of the gift cards becomes free! (Make sure to de-select the "gift wrap" box, which automatically fills in with the code and will cost you $8.50.) Shipping for gift cards appears to be free, so really, you can't lose. Unless you have a sensitive nose or allergies or something.

Free Burt's Bees lip balm... in a month.

I know this is WAY advance notice on this one, but I say forewarned is forearmed, and I'll remind everyone again closer to the actual day. Anyway, Burt's Bees is celebrating their 25th "Burt Day," and if you RSVP for the event on Facebook, you can get one of 25,000 free lip balms they'll be giving away. Plus, there will be other giveaways and deals, apparently.

Stay tuned, we'll see what other info they post...

50% off fare sale to the Bay Area on Southwest.

Who wants a cheap weekend in San Francisco? Well, me, for one*. Click here to check out Southwest's super-duper sale on flights to the Bay Area - today, April 27, only!

"Fly roundtrip on a Wanna Get Away fare between any city that Southwest serves and Oakland, San Francisco, or San Jose through June 10, 2009. But hurry, these low fares are available for purchase TODAY ONLY using the following promotion codes:
San Francisco: LUVSFO
Oakland: LUVOAK
San Jose: LUVSJC"

*Just kidding, it turns out they don't offer service from Seattle to San Francisco. You could still go to Oakland, though, which is pretty close.

Free "un-fried" chicken at KFC today.

Yeah, I don't really know what that means either, but apparently KFC is launching this thing called "grilled chicken," which is totally different from normal, red-blooded, American FRIED chicken. Maybe if I think outside the box, I can wrap my mind around this totally new concept.

Stop by today only, April 27, for your free piece of not-fried chicken. No purchase or coupon necessary, so if you're not hungry, you could probably force some bums to fight for your unwanted drumstick.

40% off Michaels coupon.

Crafty Craftersons, take note... here's a 40% off coupon for any one item at Michaels. I wish there was one closer to me, but the one at Southcenter closed, so the only one I know of is waaaay up in Lynnwood, a 20-minute drive for me. Boo! That's a long way, even for big savings. Seattleites, if you know of one that's closer, leave it in the comments...

Free Head & Shoulders 'poo.

Head & Shoulders is the FLAKE SLAYER of your morning routine! I actually use it because I like the stimulating fragrance and tingly feeling (plus, I enjoy stripping all the natural oils from my body and replacing them with artificially scented synthetic moisturizers). So I was happy to see this offer for a free sample. Sign up and bid flakes farewell!

All the sweaty ladies: put a Dove on it.

Sign up here to get a free sample of Dove Go Fresh deodorant! (The link is being weird, so you'll have to copy/paste)

https://secure.startsampling.com/sm/100660/

It shows a field for your Costco Member number, but you don't have to fill that in to get your free sample. You may, however, end up on Costco's spam list, so use your junk email and get ready to start smelling like a fresh lady-cucumber.

Old Navy coupons (with some effort).

I really hate Old Navy's new "Old Navy Weekly" ad campaign, which is a parody of Us Weekly starring freaky-looking mannequins. But now you HAVE to interact with the mannequins in order to get valuable coupons! Bleh.

Click on the link to "go hunting," and then you'll have to roll around and click all over the place to find the hidden coupons. The only one that's left at this point is Kelly - the one standing with the little girl near the slide - if you click on her pants, a one-time (not shareable) coupon for $5 off a $25 purchase will pop up. Apparently it refreshes every week with a limited number of coupons, so you might have to endure repeat visits with the mannequins to get the really good deals. Sigh! The things we go through for cheap, colorful summer staples.

Free Touch of Happiness. HEH.

Sometimes you need a touch of happiness - just a touch. In the shower. When those moments strike, get Nivea Touch of Happiness Body Wash. If the illustration is to be believed - and I don't see why it wouldn't be - it will immediately transport you to a jungle paradise where you will stand in a tropical rainshower with your stubbly, dreamy-eyed fiancé.

Beautiful moments, apparently, are born in the shower, so you want to make sure you have orange blossom and bamboo essence sloshing around at all times.

Fire walk for free at El Pollo Loco.

Do you dare to fire-walk your taste buds through the flaming gauntlet that is EL POLLO LOCO?! Then you must prepare yourself for April 28, when you too can Taste the Fire for free. No coupon needed, you just have to show up and ask for your free fire.

The Fire consists of "one flame-grilled leg and one flame-grilled thigh, two tortillas (choice of flour or corn) and fresh salsa." If you want to quench those spicy flames, however, you'll need to buy your own beverage.

Free Wolverine razor.

Does your super-stubble require adamantium-strength blades to achieve manly smoothness? Make like Wolverine and get yourself a free Schick Quattro Titanium trimmer razor by filling out the form. (If you don't automatically get the form page, roll over the blue dots at the bottom of the page and click the one that says "Trim Your Style").

It looks pretty fancy and therefore I'm assuming they're following the Nintendo pricing structure: sell the console cheaply and wallet-rape you with the cartridges. Still, Hugh Jackman would want you to have this, so you'd better do it, probably.

Now, when will they come out with the Jean Grey Epilady that teleports unwanted bikini fuzz to the other side of the galaxy?

Maw, git the canning jars!

I'm sure you've heard about cash-strapped citizens making "recession gardens" and turning to homemade food to save a buck. But is it worth the time and effort to make your own cream cheese when it's so readily available at the supermarket? This Slate article details the author's attempts to make scratch bagels, yogurt, cream cheese, granola and more - and adds up the cost of homemade vs. store-bought. You may be surprised by what she finds out!

Free notepad and pen.

My thoughts are very important and profound, and it's a great loss to the world every single minute of the day that I sit pontificating yet not recording these amazing insights. But no more! Now, with this free notepad and built-in pen, I will always be able to have with me, as a former teacher put it, "something to write on and something to write with." In one compact package!

Record your epiphanies for posterity AND for free - sign up today!

Free copy of Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Looking for a fluffy vacation read, now that the weather's warming up? Try Confessions of a Shopaholic, the silly, girly chick-lit novel that inspired the recent movie. Even better, it's free! Just sign yourself or a friend up here and they'll send you a complimentary copy.

There's a whole series of these books, but honestly, you might as well just read the first one four times - they're pretty similar. But for free, it's the right price to stuff into your beach bag this spring.

$10 off at JC Penney with purchase of $10 or more.

You like your mom, right? And your mom totally likes JC Penney. Therefore, your mom will like it if you use this $10 off coupon code to buy her a heartwarming, maybe slightly tacky Mother's Day gift at JC Penney.

The coupon code is MOMSGR8, and it's valid from April 26 to May 10 for a purchase of $10 or more. There's also currently a free shipping code, BBSPR9, on orders of $69 or more, if you REALLY go wild. Just think how many polyester camp shirts and interchangeable-wristband watches that will buy!

Free lunch-size tote at Whole Foods.

Whole Foods shoppers and plastic-bag haters, rejoice! Print this coupon (scroll down) and take it to your local Whole Foods to get a free lunch-size tote bag. It's valid through April 26, 2009, or until supplies run out. (Of course, the bag is normally only 79 cents, so even if you miss out on the offer, you can probably still afford one.)

If you read the fine print, evidently this was "exclusively" for Oprah viewers, but some kind soul has opened it up to the rest of us. CHARGE!!!

$1, $2 off coupons at Seventh Generation.

Seventh Generation, manufacturers of hippie cleaning and personal care products often featured in my home, is offering $1 and $2 off coupons on their website. Each coupon is good for 30 days from date of printing, and you can print each coupon twice.

Downside: you have to install some coupon-printing software in order to get them (they say it's for security reasons). Which means I can't print them off at work, boo!

Free Oakley sketch pad.

What's cooler than wearing sporty sunglasses? Perhaps sitting at an outdoor cafe table, idly sketching portraits of pretty ladies and presenting them with an artsy flourish? Well, now you can be BOTH kinds of cool AND MORE with this free Oakley sketch pad offer.

Sign up for their newsletter, get a little notebook with an M.C. Escheresque black-and-white design, and feel a sudden rush of newfound confidence. Then buy some expensive sunglasses.

Earth Day Freetacular!

Happy Earth Day, everyone! Check out these planet-saving freebies and deals for today:

• Free roll of recycled aluminum foil wrap from Reynolds Wrap (rebate)
• Free medium beverage at Peet's Coffee when you buy a reusable product
• 15% off eligible store items, 20% off Walgreen's brand items, and a free reusable shopping tote with purchase with printed coupon
• Free Aveeno Envirosax cotton bag and sample of Aveeno Nourish 'poo (this offer is only for the first 1,000 and may already have expired)
• Earth Day sale at Amazon (I love these Tree-Free journals made with sugarcane paper!)

More to come, enjoy your green day!

Consumer safety: spotting an ATM skimmer.

Here at the HTN, it's not all about grabbing any freebies and hot deals you see - being wise with your money also means not allowing stupid dumb thief jerks to take it from you. So, check out this PDF presentation on how to spot ATM skimmers, aka card-reader/videocamera devices that capture and wirelessly transmit your account and PIN number info to bad people so they can steal your money.

If you don't feel like being vigilant and/or pounding on your ATM every time you get cash, just remember to cover your PIN-entering hand with your other hand when you're making a withdrawal. Foiled!

Free Teeccino sample.

Apparently, Teeccino is caffeine-free herbal coffee. I can't really imagine why you'd want that, but you can get a free sample in a variety of flavors when you sign up for their newsletter with your junk email account. Evidently it's "America's Favorite Coffee Alternative," narrowly beating out actual tea and alcohol.

This is the brain-child of an "award winning herbal beverage designer," so you know it's quality stuff. Go on, request your (caffeine)free sample.

Pocket currency converter, $1.99.

Having just returned from a trip to Mexico, where the peso is king, I definitely could've used one of these babies rather than my charmingly inaccurate divide-by-ten-and-subtract-a-couple-bucks method. Plug in the exchange rate you want and you're ready to start converting!

Yes, I know a calculator could do all this and more, but look how compact and cute it is! And it has a cord so you can wear it around your neck, if you need to make it EVEN MORE CLEAR that you are not a local! And it's not a calculator, it's a pocket currency converter!

Brought to you by the same website as the Six Pounds of Pens, so you know it's a deal.

Pounds of pens!

My name is Stephanie, and I'm a recovering office-supply addict. But while I intend to stay strong and not go for this offer, I strongly encourage you to enable your pen-hoarding addictions by buying SIX POUNDS OF PENS from this site.

Evidently they're misprinted custom-order pens from a printing company, and you reap the benefits of their screw-ups! The pens are click pens in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, and they'll have business names and info printed on them - hopefully with hilarious typos. 6 lbs of pens is about 320 pens, in case you're wondering, so this could very well be a lifetime supply even if you're a chronic pen-mislayer.

$13.99 + $5.99 shipping and they're yours. Hand them out at your next party! Give them as wedding favors! The possibilities are endless.

50-cent Iced Coffee Day at Dunkin' Donuts!

Were you aware that today is Iced Coffee Day at Dunkin' Donuts? Neither was I, but whatever. Get 50-cent iced coffees all day if you can find a location - I have no idea when the last time I saw a Dunkin' Donuts was - and a portion of the proceeds goes to Homes For Our Troops, whatever that is. Some sort of good cause or some such.

Find a location near you here. (Sorry, Seattleites, there don't appear to be any locations within 50 miles of here, which is probably why I can't remember seeing one.)

Free John Frieda Root Awakening 'poo and conditioner.

Some phrases just sound so good on beauty products. "Health Infusing"... "Strength Restoring"... "Nourishing Moisture"... I want to rub the actual words themselves right into my scalp and feel their magical power. Well, almost as good, you can request free samples of John Frieda Root Awakening 'poo and conditioner.

Yes, John, I WOULD like to awaken my hair to its healthiest potential! Tell me more about your potent eucalyptus-laden nature 'poo.

Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's, April 21!

It's Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's! I've been to these before and they're pretty awesome... not only do you get free ice cream, but you can line up again and again and have as many free cones as you want, and they will cheerfully keep serving them up. WIN!

Free cone time is from noon to 8 pm today, and you can find a participating location here. Alas, the only participating location in the Seattle metro area is at 7900 E. Green Lake Dr. N, but if you've really got a hankering for free ice cream (and some extra time to stand in line), go nuts!

Free bowling for up to 10 at AMF Lanes.

Feel like strapping on some used, Lysol-saturated shoes and hitting the town for a night of bowling glamour? Join the AMF E-Club and get a coupon for a free game of bowling for up to 10 people, plus special stuff on your birthday and so on.

Not sure if there's a location near you? Find participating locations here (Seattleites, there's one in Seattle and one in Bellevue). They even have Xtreme black-light disco bowling!

Free EVOL burrito.

Want a free "all natural and organic, made-from-scratch burrito" in your freezer? Sign up for a free EVOL Burrito coupon... when the brand launches this fall.

They're giving away 50,000 burritos and the new line is set to launch in fall 2009, so sign up now and receive an email coupon and update when it's closer to Burrito Day. It's made by some guy from Survivor, so you know it's full of zest for life!

Free movie rental with the Redbox Monday code.

Here it is, the Redbox Monday code for the week: M6FR97 . Use the code at your local Redbox and get a free movie rental on anything they have, for one night only! If you don't know what Redbox is, click here to learn more and find a location near you.

I'd rent one today myself, but I have a stack of Netflix staring accusingly at me on the coffee table, and they tend to get awfully jealous when I bring home other DVDs...

Borders CD & DVD clearance, now up to 50% off.

I just got an email this morning from Borders that their much-ballyhooed CD and DVD clearance is now up to 50% off. Of course, that's only on "selected titles," at "participating stores," so it still may not be a total bargainfest - the downtown Seattle one had a pretty weak selection of 30% off just a few things, last time I looked.

Hang in there, kids! This sale will get better before it's over.

Free breakfast all weekend, special deals at IKEA.

This weekend is IKEA's Seize the Days sale, and you can score a free breakfast April 17-19 with this coupon! The coupon's good for a free small breakfast and free coffee, but check your local store for valid hours. (Seattleites, it's 9 to 10 am for the Renton store.)

On that same page, you can see the one-day-only specials they're also offering this weekend. I kinda like the $39 leather bar stools, except for the small fact that I don't have a bar in my apartment. Details, details...

Super-cheap magazine subscriptions.

I already have WAY more magazine subscriptions than I need, but in case you don't, DealNews has a link to the Time Inc. Family and Friends newssstand, which offers sharply discounted magazine subscriptions, like a one-year subscription to Entertainment Weekly for $10, Cooking Light for $12, or, uhhh, This Old House for $10.

It looks legit as far as I can tell, but I've been burned by discount third-party subscription clearinghouses before, so I'm a bit wary. I know, I know - that's not the kind of attitude that leads to those much-desired ten-foot-tall towers of magazines that every serious crazy cat lady must own.

Free Gilette Fusion razors.

Gilette is giving away 500 free Fusion razors per day for a month, and you could get one of them! Go here and click the link to see if you've won. You do have to register with them, but I'm assuming you can opt out of emails (and of course you're giving them your junk email anyway).

It looks like a men's razor to me, but it's hard to tell from the picture, and razors are pretty much razors, so I say go for the freebie if you want some hair removal for either gender.

Free Earth Day global warming flip-flops.

Simple Shoes, maker of fine hippie footwear, is offering free Toepeeka "global warming flip-flops" on their website when you enter code HappyEarthDay09 at checkout. There is a men's and women's version. Free shipping, too!

I haven't been able to check it out firsthand because they're getting so much traffic that their server has shut down for the time being, but keep checking back and maybe it'll work later. You'll need those flip-flops when all the ice caps melt.

UPDATE: It sounds like you need to order at least one other item in your cart in order to get the free flip-flops. I still haven't been able to get through on the site, though. Booo!

Free roll of aluminum foil, April 22 only.

To celebrate Earth Day, Reynolds Wrap is offering a rebate for its new aluminum foil made from 100% recycled aluminum - but you have to download the rebate form on April 22, starting at 4:22 am (bleh - sounds like a cute gimmick but they're just making it harder for you to actually redeem the offer by shortening the redemption period).

Still, if you enjoy wrapping food, pets, or your head in aluminum foil, yet want to help our environment, this could be the way of the (silvery, stay-fresh) future.

Burt's Bees Celebration Bag, $25.

Burt's Bees is famous for their super-cute little toiletry kits stuffed full of tiny lotions, cremes, lip balms, shampoos, soaps, and more. They're not exactly cheap, but the Gift Bag Principle ("the excitement of a festively wrapped gift set is greater than the sum total of the excitement caused by its individual components") is in full effect.

To celebrate their 25th anniversary, you can get their Celebration Bag for $25, which includes 3 regular-sized lip products, 12 mini-sized products, and 4 special gifts! Get free shipping with promo code HIVEBDAY, and use coupon code WELCOME to get a free lip balm.

The Easter Bunny put a little green in my basket this year, so I think I might go for this one! It's been too long since I had a beauty splurge... far too long.

Better Than Ears.

Mostly I'm just posting this free dog snack sample offer because I love the name: Better Than Ears. It's a lie, though... because what is better than gnawing on leathery pig ears? NOTHING.

Nom nom nom.

Tax Day freebies/specials!

Today may be Tax Day, but at least you won't have to pay for everything today. Here are some April 15 freebies floating around out there:

• Free ice cream at Maggie Moo's
• Free taco at Taco Del Mar
• Free Cinnabon bites from 5-8 pm at mall stores
• 15% off your total bill at PF Chang's on April 15
• Large pizza with up to 3 toppings for $10.40 on April 15 (lower left-hand side of homepage)
• $10.40 entrees (normally $15-20) and drink specials at McCormick & Schmick's on April 15, plus a $10.40 "tax relief dinner certificate" for a future visit
• Supposedly Chik-Fil-A has a deal where you order a meal today, save your receipt, then return April 16-30 to get that same meal again for free, but I haven't been able to officially verify this (it might be just a few participating locations)
• Supposedly Subway is offering free cookies today, but I haven't been able to verify that either. If you have, let me know in the comments!

Just for Seattleites:

• 15% off your total order at Kidd Valley, Boom Noodles, Blue C Sushi
• Free "Gold Digger Jr." vibrators at Babeland to the first 100 customers in the store and online, plus 10% off all orders

Free Earth Day gift at Disney stores, April 22.

Earth Day is April 22 this year, and Disney is cashing in - er, commemorating this important day by offering a free gift when you bring in three (presumably empty) plastic bottles to any Disney store.

They're coy about what the free gift actually IS - the page certainly implies that it's the tote bag pictured, but I heard a rumor elsewhere that it's a water bottle. So, trade in three bottles and get... another bottle. You're welcome, Earth.

Seattle book sale this weekend, April 17-19!

Seattleites, take note: the Friends of the Library book sale is this weekend, from April 17-19. If you've been before, then you know what a huge shopportunity this is - an airplane hangar FULL of tables loaded with boxes and boxes of books, for $1 each! Over 200,000 items are offered in the sale (a combination of donated books and former library books), so if you can't find an armful of awesome deals, it's your own fault.

NOTE: BYO BAG! Don't be like me my first time, naively assuming that they'll provide you with strong shopping bags to carry away your loot. Bring a strong tote, boxes, or even rolling suitcases to haul your goodies home (they've seen it all).

Location: Magnuson Park, Hangar in Building #30, 7400 Sand Point Way NE, Seattle, 98115.
The park may be reached by Metro bus routes 30, 74, and 75. Free parking is available.

Friday, April 17: 6:30- 9:30 p.m. Member preview sale. Members may purchase up to 25 items. Memberships $15 in advance; $30 at the door.
Saturday, April 18: 9 a.m.- 5 p.m.
Sunday, April 19: 11 a.m.- 4 p.m.

Free heart-shaped amethyst-ish earrings.

In need of a little free sparkle in your life? Click here for a free pair of simulated amethyst sterling silver earrings, now in cheerful heart shape. Use promo code 0801 at checkout. Looks like they'll still getcha for $6 in shipping, but that's still not a bad price for some sparkly jewels.

An inconvenient bulb, April 19.

To celebrate Earth Day, Home Depot will be giving away a million EcoSmart CFL bulbs (scroll halfway down the page) on April 19 - for free! No purchase necessary, but you have to go to a physical store to claim your bulb.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of fluorescent bulbs or LED lights, but I do have them in my home, so at least I can offset my glum, unflatteringly-lit expression with some smug gloating.

Free flash drive with sweet eagle design.

Ca-caw! Want to easily download and transport pictures, music, and other data AND show your affection for America's freedom bird? Fill out this form to get a free 256MB flash drive. It does say it comes bundled with their downloading software, but those are usually pretty easy to delete or ignore.

Granted, 256MB isn't much in this crazy world of 16GB+ flash cards, but free is free! And America is free! And eagles are free, too! CAW!

BOGO Orange Julius.

Remember Orange Julius? Yeah, me neither, but apparently they still exist in some sad dirt mall somewhere in the country. (Actually, there's one in downtown Seattle, believe it or not.)

Anyway, sign up for their email club and get a BOGO coupon for a premium 20-oz smoothie, a coupon for a treat on your birthday, and... other stuff. Just make sure your parents know to pick you up outside Sam Goody afterward, so they don't embarrass you in front of your friends.

40% off Tuesdays at Old Spaghetti Factory through 5/26.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I love the Old Spaghetti Factory in all its family-dining splendor. The piles of pasta! The unlimited keep-it-coming loaves! The streetcars you can sit in! And now there's even one more reason to go: 40% off entrees on Tuesdays through May 26. No coupons needed, the prices are already on the special menu.

The promotion is to celebrate their 40th anniversary, and yeah, there will probably be even more noisy families and shrieking, spaghetti-flinging toddlers than usual, but THINK OF THE SAVINGS! And the mizithra!

Free Teasta tea samples.

Check out this offer for some free Teasta samples... you can choose up to two flavors and get free shipping with promo code TRYME. The flavors sound pretty good, like Holiday Mint, Chocolate Mint Rooibos, Earl Grey Cream, Tropical Green, and Papaya Ginger. I went for Chocolate Mint Rooibos and Earl Grey Cream myself... which ones did you pick? Leave it in the comments!

Clinique Bonus Time at Macy's!

I'm sure you ladies don't need me to tell you what a great deal Clinique Bonus Time is... with a $21.50 minimum purchase, you get a cute little beauty bag stuffed with samples and full-size products, often amounting to a basic makeup kit. My favorite qualifying purchase is the Dramatically Different facial lotion with the pump, which runs $24 but lasts a long time (more than long enough to get me to the next bonus offer).

Cute pink-and-white springy floral bags this time around, too! Check it out if you're in need of a beauty splurge.

Free 24-oz ketchup.

Check out this link for a coupon book worth $10, including a coupon for a free 24-oz bottle of Hunt's ketchup. Get an early start on those spring BBQs! Those hot dogs and hamburgers won't condiment themselves, you know.

It sounds like it might be a Walmart store coupon, so caveat emptor for you Walmart haters.

HTN is back from vacation!

The Hard Times Newsletter is pleased to announce that it has returned from vacation, and is ready to start saving you $$$ again! Well, maybe not today, because it is pretty jet-lagged and there are a lot of emails in its inbox. But still. It's the thought that counts... and right now, this sounds like a pretty good deal. $21.99 and free shipping, plus a touch of class for your next tiki party. Or workday.